On 2/3/2011 at 1:54 PM borowitzreport.com
February 3, 2011
Obama Says He Will Resend Message to Mubarak, This Time in All Caps
White House Mulls Change in Font
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - Concerned that Egyptian President Hosni
Mubarak did not receive his message to begin a peaceful transition to
democratic reforms, President Barack Obama said today that he would resend
the message "but this time in all caps."
Mr. Obama said that while he hoped sending a capitalized version of the
message would be effective, "we have a variety of other options at our
disposal, including resending it in bold."
In the days since it became clear that Mr. Mubarak did not receive the
White House's initial message, Mr. Obama has been huddling with advisors
to discuss a range of more drastic options, including changing the
message's font altogether.
"We are fully prepared to go to a stronger font if that will help make our
point to Mubarak," said one aide who spoke on condition of anonymity.
"Right now every font is on the table except Comic Sans."
On the Republican side, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin said that she
would refrain from commenting on the situation in Egypt until she learned
how to pronounce "Mubarak."
Meanwhile, at the National Prayer Breakfast, Speaker of the House John
Boehner (R-Ohio) led all Americans in praying that they never need
healthcare.
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