By her own admission, Hillary Clinton spends a lot of time walking in the woods—and drinking Chardonnay. But now she has finally returned to civilization (this isn't entirely accurate because she's made herself available for interviews so she can explain how Putin forced her to be an awful politician. But we digress...).
Yes, Hillary Clinton gave the commencement address at her beloved alma mater, Wellesley College. And yes, she wore her favorite wizard hat and coughed a lot.
Some things never change:
You know [COUGH] four years ago, maybe a little more or less [COUGH] [COUGH] for some of you—just a minute I gotta get a lozenge—[COUGH] a-hem [COUGH] thank you. I told the trustees I was sitting with, after hearing Tala's speech, I didn't think I could get through it—so we'll blame allergy instead of emotions. [POPS PILL] [COUGH] [COUGH] ... [COUGH]
This is the same excuse she gave 5 days before going stiff like a board and falling into her van:
Hillary Clinton said she was feeling 'better' Tuesday after flooding her system allergy-fighting antihistamines.
'As I said, it, you know, it happens like crazy during the spring when the pollen comes, and it happens in the fall when the pollen comes,' she said.
Clinton's speech was a smorgasbord of tired clichés and lies (for instance, she insinuates that Trump, "like Nixon", will be impeached. Nixon was impeached? Not everyone is your husband, Hillary.)
Hillary also implored her audience to seize control of the Facebook algorithm so that the mean Russians won't be able to pollute America with their Fake News.
The best part? She read this word-guano from a teleprompter. Come on, Hillary. It's a college commencement address—not your concession speech: